Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the winning combination for the BYU 2011 Presidential Campaign.
President Jimmer Buckets Fredette
VP Norm MoneyBags Nemrow
(1) Take BYU to the Final Four.
(2) Anyone who publicly shouts, “Ollie Ollie Oxenfree” on the weekends can’t have their car booted.
(3) No more than 40 males allowed in the King Henry hot tub at any given time.
(4) Diversity day at Alpine Village: Girls who are not blonde, from Draper or SoCal, with dads who earn less than $250,000 are allowed to come to Alpine Village for an entire day.
(5) The glory days of the 80’s will be reinstated when bands used to come perform at the Marriott Center.
Be reasonable. Only a few people in BYU/LDS history go by one name like Shakira or Pele, and they are Joseph, Lavell, and Jimmer. Joseph got a building. Lavell got a stadium. Jimmer should at least get your vote.
– The 2011 Presidential Campaign
PS – Norm Nemrow is playing alternate as VP because the BYU Honor Code Office didn’t like Chuck Norris’s beard. And no matter how sharp the razor Cecil Samuelson tries to use, Chuck Norris‘s beard will not be shaved.